:)

Day 4: Your greatest fears about weight loss.

Um. Reallyu its just that I'm losing weight and its fine but then I get all these massive cravings for cake and stuff and im scared that one day I'll give in and eat everything and will become huge again and will have done this to myself for nothing. and will just have to sart over again and drive myself crazy.

I hate food. I hate it hate it hate it but people are starting to notice. It was okay when I was losing just a little bit. now its 2 and a half stone in 2 months.

People are telling me to stop. to eat.

but i dont want to

not now.

not now ive seen how easy i can do it.

just stay away from food.

its evil

i bought a size 14 dress yesterday. i thought it would fit because im big.

but it didnt.

its too big.

way too big.

im getting mum to fix it for me

it was the only one left

and i wanted it so badly

Gah

Okay so...Oops about not updating. Crazy stuffs been going on.

I hadn't checked my weight for 5 days!!! and I ended up magically losing 6lbs..even though I broke my diet with a biiiiiig thing of salty popcorn AND a cheese burger from mcdonalds. I was shocked. I thought the scales would tell me I'd gained a stone. not lost. Thank ful though.

I think its doing stuff to me though. Im exhausted all the time. and my mouth gets really dry. and im always freezing and achey. Maybe its something unrelated though.

so..I got a new boyfriend. Only problem is...I cant stop thinking about my ex. Its driving me crazy. This new guy is so amazingly nice. and yet im ruining it all constantly thinking about the old guy. I dont know what to do.

Pump up the jam

3. Day: A picture of your thinspiration. What do you like about this person?

I have no idea who this is. But I love her. I want to look like this. The whole oversized jumper shorts thing. Cute - as. Cant do it atm because my legs are so fat that shorts just ride up in the middle and look gross and chafe.

Ace.

One day though.

wow..

10 stone...exactly?

yes.

Gah, its bloody cold. Think of the caloriesss.

Day 2: How tall are you? Do you like your height?

I am 5 ft 3 (just) and I don't really like being this small. If i was taller I wouldn't be so frumpy and fat and huge and ugly coz I'd be stretched out and better and not as gross.

Urgh.

The only advantage is being 'cute' but I'd rather be beautiful than 'cute'.

Wii Fit was nice to me last night. I bought it for myself...to add to my collection of exercisey/fitnessy crap I've bought recently. It told me I am IDEAL! I am no longer overweight! I bet if i go on it now I will be though. Argh. BMI was like...24.75 or something lmao. So yeah.

Went to a shop today to find an outfit for my 18th birthday.

Found the most perfect gorgeous dress.

Shame I'm not perfect and gorgeous enough to deserve to wear it.

MUST LOSE WEIGHT.

MUST GET FACE TRANSPLANT.

AND LEG LIKE...STRETCHING.

or something.

30 Day weightloss challenge

Day 1: Your stats

Height: 5'3" (160cm)

Weight (21/01/2011): 141 lbs (63.9 kg)

BMI: 25.0

OK so its incredibly hard to find pictures of me with my body actually like..in the pictures so this is a [not so] lucky find.

God I'm huge.

I'm the one on the left, in the hideous green dress.

The start.

Okay so.

At the end of November 2010, my (ex) boyfriend, broke up with me. It hurt. I realised that because our relationship was never really...all that great...my relationship with food had become disgusting. I used it as a comfort when he'd let me down. I used it when I felt unloved. Unwanted. So basically I ate like a pig all the time. I was 11 stone 7. and I was HUGE.

The diet began just as a loss of appetite. I was heartbroken. Didn't eat properly for weeks. When I realised I'd lost a stone...I decided that I should carry on...but eat healthy foods instead of nothing.

My heaviest weight was 11 stone 7...which is 161lbs? [oh. my. god.]

My weight after the initial break up weight loss was..10 stone 5..which is 145lbs [a bit better..]

My current weight is 10 stone 1 and 3/4's..141lbs

so thats like...20lbs lost? in 2 months..thats pretty cool I guess.

I want to be at heaviest 9 and a half stone.

to be 110lbs would be amazing though.

maybe I can get there. maybe.