right.

After doctors tomorrow I'm gonna get right back on track. I dont care how ill I feel I am NOT letting myself get fat. No sir. Nuh uh.

5 day fast?

Go for it.

stuck

Day 7: Do your parents know you’re trying to lose weight? Do they care?

Um my mum knows and shes like...okay about it but she doesnt really know the extents of it and the obsession. Its becoming a huge part of my life and Im loving it. I have control. Shes happy for me but I know shes jealous because shes not motivated enough to do it too. My dad knows im on a diet, or that i was at christmas. but he doesnt know the extents either.

YAY my jillian michaels dvd came today. Im having the urge to go on a midnight exercise sesh. am gonna do it. and then i'll do it again in the day tomorrow. tonight is just a tester. im totally up for doing it everyday for 30 days and potentially losing 10lbs. hell yes!

and i love jillian so much shes such an inspiration.

been eating not much, but badly these last few days.

shit gotta get back on track tomorrow.

no more boozy nights.

BAD me.

gaaah.

:)

Day 6: Do you binge? If so, explain why you think you do.

Actually I'm Quite good at not binging...except for sometimes. and when I do its coz I can smell a nice...burger..a big cheesey burger with bbq sauce and salt and mmmmmmmmmmmmm.

but nothing really tempts me apart from burgers.

and tbh i didnt even like burgers that much BEFORE i started to watch what i eat.

so why am i like obsessed with them now?

:/

its okay though because today I have eaten a salad and a raw carrot. lmao. and exercised. gonna go skip for a bit now bye

ga\aa

Day 5: Why do you really want to lose this weight? Are you doing it for you?

I am huge and hate looking at myself in the mirror and thinking 'you might as well just die you fucking fat piece of shit. no ones gonna want you. no one even wants to look at you. all they see is fat. all i see is fat. its always there hanging about. i sit down. boom rolls. i feel my fat squash into the chair. i feel it wobble when i run. I DONT WANT IT.

i want to look good

and pretty and beautiful

and skinny

urrrgh

YAY IM 18. haha.

had a great birthday.

drank a stupid amount.

ate some cake.

feeling really fat.

diet starts again tomorrow.

full force.